This Wasn’t A Part of the Plan…

It’s very natural to grieve past versions of yourself. It’s very natural to mourn the ideas you once held about what your life would look like.

Grief isn’t the absence of gratitude.

Sometimes we have high hopes, dreams, and expectations. We make these extravagant plans and timelines for how we think life should unfold. And then, life takes a turn. Most times, God redirects us, not because He ignores our desires, but because He wants to refine us in the best ways.

Sometimes the posture of our heart or the driving force behind our desires needs to be realigned and replanted in good soil. God soil.

And while we know this, and even thank Him for it, the truth is that refinement can hurt. Redirection can sting. You may find yourself grieving what you thought you wanted.

It reminds me of childhood: when you’re hungry and ask for a sweet before dinner. You don’t understand why your mother says no—you just know you want something that looks good, right now. But what you don’t see is that indulging in that treat would spoil your appetite for what’s actually nourishing. And after you eat your full, balanced meal, you don’t even think twice about that sweet anymore.

Still, in the moment, being told no makes you feel sad, frustrated, or even disappointed. All forms of grief.

So I say all this to remind you: grieving what didn’t happen doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful for what has. Two things can be true. You can be full of gratitude for all that God has given you—and still feel something for what didn’t go as planned.